The Tom Zone Question of the Day

Have you ever been in a situation where it was inappropriate to laugh, but you couldn't help yourself?

Maybe ten years ago, I was at my parents' house for Christmas dinner.  My grandfather and his wife were there.  It

was a rare cold Christmas, and my dad had a lovely fire roaring in the fireplace.  My brother Mark and I were sitting there watching football, when g'pa's wife, Kathleen, noticed there was a lovely fire.  (Kathleen wasn't always the most perceptive and lucid of people, bless her heart)  She said something like "Oh, what a lovely fire," and stood up to investigate further.  She started shuffling across the floor, issuing a loud, trombone-esque fart with every step.  She took small steps, and it's a big room.  BLAAP.  BOOM.  PFFFFT.  THHPPTPTPT.  A-OOOO-GAH. SQUEEEEAK.  PUFF.  BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP.  All I could think was, "Don't look at your brother.  Don't look at your brother.  Don'tlookatyourbrotherdon'tlookatyourbrotherdon'tlookatyourbrother." 

Naturally, I peeked out the corner of my left eye, and caught him peeking out the corner of his right eye. 

We lost it.  I swear, we laughed till our faces hurt, the dog was scared, and our tears soaked the furniture.  The idea that Kathleen had just propelled herself across the room--toward an open fire, for cripes sakes--was just too much to keep inside.  My mom came in to ask what we were laughing at.  We told her, and she gave one of those terse momisms: "She couldn't help it, I'm sure.  You shouldn't laugh."

I think she was just mad that she missed the brass band and potential fireworks.  Over a decade later, we still crack up over that special Christmas concert.